2nd opinion no better than the first

Hello my friends and family,

Well we went up to another doctor to get a second opinion and to discuss some treatment options. Nothing much is different. The cocktail I am taking is good, but it is suggested that now that my finger tips are numb that I should stop taking that drug and go without for the summer. Most people can only handle 8 or so treatments and I am on number 14. The reduced effectiveness is not worth the nerve damage being sustained. Surgery doesn't appear to be an option either, there is just to much cancer to deal with. The danger heavily out weighs any possible benefits. All I would do is just damage or lose some of the remainder of the functioning liver left. Typically they try to clear one lobe and let the other function and then possibly switch, but that will never work with the quantity I have. No radiation, surgery, or cyro can ever work.

So we stay with various forms of chemo forever until I pass. The outlook remains the same. Everybody in my boat only last 2-5 years, but there are always exceptions. I need at least 6 to see Paige graduate from high school and 8-12 to see college graduation. There has to be goals set!!!!

I got to say I am a bit disheartened. The info was very consistent, but this lady was much more able to explain reasons for and against different approaches.

It sucks to be me today for sure, so I am enjoying a real beer tonight.

As always, thank you for caring to read and your good wishes.

Good night,

Jeff

The Cold is getting Old

Hello all,

Well the cold finally got bad enough that it stopped me from taking chemo today. I am feeling better than earlier in the week, but my numbers were to low to take a chance and wipe out what little white blood cells I have to fight the cold. They of course want me to go next week, but I am going camping with the Cary family so chemo will have to wait. It's going to be a month rest, but life is too short not to have fun with friends. A good hike will help kill the cold or at least make me more fit to fight it.

I want to thank long time family friends Trudi, Eileen and Kevin for sending me cards with good wishes this week. It is much appreciated and thanks again. I also got the official invitation for Eric and Michelle's wedding. That's in June so it's going to be a road trip and I love road trips. Its a great opportunity to bond with the family.

Well time to go eat and finish my health drink (it used to be vodka and cranberry, but now its NA beer).

Thanks for reading,

Jeff

Getting a bit sick

Dang colds. Looks like I have picked up a cold from Paige or a guy I work with. YUK. My head is full of goo and sleeping straight up doesn't lend itself towards a good nights rest. Hopefully I can beat this back and still do chemo this week.

I reached a new low this week. Honey Dijon mustard was to hot for me spice wise. I know, pretty soon all things will just come down to ketchup. Sad, sad ,sad.

Dinners ready, talk to you all later.

Jeff

Yuk, this crap is getting old.

Hello all,

Cheryl reminded me to blog. I haven't felt real good and I have gotten tired early in the evening and just haven't felt like doing much about the normal time I blog. This was round two of the new meds and it just really kicked my butt. The fatigue has been a huge burden and I haven't wanted to work out or do anything strenuous. I have to everything as soon as I get home or it won't get done. The last few days I have had bad dizzy spells when going vertical or even just laying down. It makes me get the spins really bad. My nails have become brittle, my fingers and toes have gotten numb rather than just a tingle, and I bruise or cut with the slightest contact. My nose runs every time I eat, and now anything spicy lights me up like a bright red sign. You name it - Costco salsa, Dave's Rich and Sassy BBQ sauce, certainly hot sauce on eggs, and even chipotle soup makes me sweat. This is really getting annoying.

The bright side of things is that I have gotten to spend some time with buddies for the March Madness games on the weekends. What a blast to hang out, high five when the action is good, and just go out and shoot baskets during breaks. That has been my only exercise and it was to fun to call it exercise. I had a couple of White Russian drinks and man did they taste good. We just made some reservations to go to Zion National Park with the Cary's at the end of the month and that will be real fun. Plus, I have a trip planned for Yellowstone National Park planned around the first week of July. My brother and my nephew are coming out West for the first time, so we are going to camp at the KOA so we can have a fire and hit the pool.

Work is busy and that is a blessing. It keeps me going and I really enjoy the challenges of keeping sharp and organized. It definitely keeps me focused and helps me not think about how sick I feel sometimes.

I had my first chance to re-pay the favor of someone giving advice and comfort about this C word. There was a newbie in chemo last week. She was diagnosed with stomach (C word) and was all emotional about the drugs, her port was put in wrong, and to top it off she was from Wyoming. I was walking by her on the way to the facilities and the nurse was trying to explain to her the symptoms and all the things that could happen and she looked like a dear in the headlights. I only could talk to her briefly as the nurse was trying to plow through the info as fast as possible so she get her "C-word and You" manual. I remembered that feeling of uncertainty, being a bit terrified, overwhelmed with info, and just feeling like you needed to cry for a bit.

I still feel more lucky than most, at least I am functioning in life rather than puking in a bucket and just laying in bed.

Thanks for reading and have a great night,

Jeff