Frustrations in life

Well, the last couple of months have been frustrating to say the least. My continuous efforts to control the bowels has been tiring. There seems no hope in sight. One setback after another has left me in adult garments and keeping me at home and away from life. Cheryl and I got frustrated and went and saw my colon doctor to see if there was anything going on besides the bile dumping. Wow, how about a 25 cm tumor. the colon is blocked by the tumor and having to go into diarrhea mode to get past it and on the other end the tumor is stopping me from closing off, so everything just leaks by anyways. We go with me chemo doctor and they have suggested a plan of chemo and radiation with maybe some surgery down the road to crap into a bag. At this point it is so big that it is starting to press against other things like the prostate and other needed organs and will soon have me in in incredible pain. We saw a colon rectum doctor today and right now we are goig in for surgery to remove them tumor now and go into surgery with less chemo and no radiation. If all goes according to plan, the doctor will be able to remove the tumor and I will have a bog to worry about instead of diapers. If the tumor is to big and presents a problem, then I will get a bag and still have to do radiation and chemo to shrink the tumor down until a safe surgery can be done. The doctor wont know until he opens me up. This happens October 8. Wish me luck and I could use a couple of prayers thrown in the mix as well. I have been quite depressed these last few weeks and its been hard to get rolling in life, when I cant participate and just have to stay home.

I went hunting with Rusty for a week. It rained the entire time. We didn't get a chance to hunt much, so we talked and watched some movies until we got a break to get out. We had to come home early though as I plugged up toilet and ruined the last night and day of camp by having to have us come home. I don't feel like i can apologize enough to Rusty, as I let him down when we finally had a shot at getting a bull the next day. The weather was clearing and we had found the heard. Our best shot would have been Friday am and instead of hunting we got home at 2:30 in the morning from traveling home all night. The cancer is starting to ruin things in life, cause that's what it does.

I have to thank Cheryl for holding the family up as I am not quite pulling my load as of late. Maybe this surgery goes well and I can get going again.

As always, thanks for reading and caring,

Love you all,
Jeff